Septuagenarian Musk Is A Legitimate Deal Breaker, Right?

The following is my most recent shut-it-down message. I’m going straight to hell. This I know.

Mr.___________,

Thank you for an enjoyable skate and a pleasant evening in general. You are a very nice person but, unfortunately, I don't feel a romantic spark with you. All the best in your quest for "the one".

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Shoulda said:

Mr. Not-What-I-Was-Expecting-At-All,

It was a good skate, especially the times when you left me to skate by yourself. I spent the entire afternoon psyching myself up to be Dean Martin for what? You are a social disaster and when I got home I wikied “Asperger’s” and it came up you. You have the musky aroma of a male septuagenarian and I noticed it within the first 15 seconds of meeting. You shared the most tedious information about yourself and I zoned out a few times on the walk to the rink. You did not stop talking about yourself and when I tried to volunteer information about myself, you talked over me. It was a fight to be heard. At the restaurant, you let me overpay and then left a shoddy, 8% tip. I have no forgiveness in my heart for such disregard, a symptom of Asperger’s, by the way.

Pity would be the only reason to go out with you again but, unfortunately, that ship has long sailed.

All the best in your quest for “the one”, D&D cowboy! May you find someone with a dull nasal palate and her own bindle of social disorders.

Cheerio! See you never,

Jennifer